I’m excited to participate 
in RA Blog Week 2017! Our first topic is mental health. I’ll share some ideas on how I manage my mental health while dealing with this autoimmune disease Rheumatoid Arthritis.
Well, I’m struggling in this arena. Earlier this week I had an infusion of Rituxan. It’s an all-day (almost 6 hour) infusion where this medicine seeps into my veins hopefully to calm my overactive immune system down. Unfortunately, it brings my immune system down so much that I am now sick with a cough and aches that I was certain would send me back to the hospital with pneumonia. Luckily it hasn’t come to that this time but that’s the thing with RA and the drugs designed to treat it. It makes our lives a rollercoaster of not know what turn is up ahead and if it will slow down. When I even think I won’t be able to come to work or feel like I should leave for the doctor, I feel this bizarre sense of guilt that I am sick again. I felt so terrible and frightened at the thought of going to the hospital that I cancelled my plans this weekend to attend my 30-year high school reunion, an event I had planned 6 months ago to attend. I constantly disappoint friends and colleagues, or at least I feel like I do. It makes me emotional. The ups and downs of the disease cause stress and well, stress causes flares. It’s a vicious cycle. My emotions run high when I can’t commit to things with certainty and when I feel awful. I’m sick of being sick. Medicines I take, combined with just feeling achy and in pain, impact my emotional state as well.
There are a few things I do to combat these runaway emotions. I’ve been using mindfulness exercises for the last few months and it really does help. I recommend an app called “Calm” because it reminds me to breathe and relax. There are quite a few meditation and mindfulness apps out there now. I use the meditation series from Oprah and Deepak Chopra as it calms my nerves and just lets me put things back in perspective. It helps me sleep better and therefore I feel better. I’ve learned not to bottle up my emotions. I have a few people in my life I can talk with about how I’m feeling so that I can get that needed support but also vent so that it doesn’t bottle up and explode in an undesirable moment like at work or with friends. My pets, especially my dog, are amazing at keeping my emotions level. Just a few minutes of playing with my sweet Apollo boosts my energy level and my emotions. I used to journal more and I think this could be a good outlet but it hasn’t been a big factor in my world lately. I do know thought that staying connected with others who have autoimmune conditions certainly helps me to remember that I’m not alone. We can talk and just understand each other without explanation. How do you manage your emotions?